>in this world, i fake a smile<

My update and outlook on life are both pretty grim today. Only for the fact that all the bad outweighs the good. Some know why, and others have ideas. Everyone as work is lost in oblivion. I can deal with that, and wouldn't have it any other way.

I try to make good and happy with Konnor, and he knows something isn't right with mommy. He cuddles with me and loves on me more than normal. I love it. But don't like its because there's something wrong. i try to mask the sadness, but he sees right through me. :) i love him.

I'm making the best with what i have, which results in having a smile on my face, and spending much time away from eddie. i like when i get konnor from the babysitter, because it means i can do what i want and chances are he'll be at frisbee golf for much of the night. i like when he is gone. i dont know why im so unhappy but i am. so these small retreats from him are much more of a relief than anything else.

hopefully, good developments, and even better news will come in the near future. Dennis Dixon, the star quarterback for the Ducks, is out for the season with a torn ACL, so don't expect it before football season is over.

Snow is on the mountain, and expected to stay for a while. Temps are rising in the next few days with the sunshine we are expected to have, so needless to say, some of it will melt. sad, i know, but it makes my day to check out www.timberlinelodge.com and see that snow that has fallen.