thinking. such a dangerous thing.

Let me let you just read about my everyday life.

Let me just open the door to my world.

Better yet, my heart.

You know, this is one thing that i have actually kept up on. I don't ever keep up with things. For example, Konnor's baby book, yeah right. What baby book anyways? HA! I do have most of his firsts in snapshot form, and could compile a book if i got a wild hair up my ass. Nah, i'd rather scrapbook it. About that.... No, that isn't up to date either. I dont keep up on his myspace, or mine for that matter. I don't keep my room or my car clean. I don't keep up on maintenance.

So why this blog? Why, since the middle of September, have i been challenged to write things down that i never have before? That i have never thought to share with anyone. Maybe its that i feel i can free flow here and not worry about anyone reading it. Well, anyone i know anyways. Maybe in some way this is therapeutic for me, and subconsciously i know that by writing, i am releasing angry, confused, frustrated, or hurtful energy. What if i didn't write? I mean, i don't feel different since i started writing. Perhaps a bit more emotional, or more willing to talk to people about things.

It's not like i just write everything down and then don't talk about things that should be addressed. Because i do. I talk to eddie about what bothers me and granted, that may end up in fights or arguments, i still open up. I try to open up to Jenny what bothers me as well. I mean, friday nights are our nights. I'm not completely upset that she went to hang out with other people. For christ's sake, i'm not her mom. I just know that it's our night, and i wouldn't hang out with just kelly and not her.

And then i was really looking forward to her watching the football game with me tomorrow. but she says she can't call in b/cuz they just fired 2 people for calling in. i understand that, and i am not calling her a liar, so don't take it that way. But if they are sooooooo short staffed to the point that one of their BIG companies are going to drop contract with them, why are they firing people who are hard workers?? i mean jenny works all the time, takes overtime when she can, and is a great asset there. Why would they fire her for calling in on a day when we both kinda need it?

I don't know. If companies were truly wanting to make their turnover rate go down, they would make their employees more happy. I know for a fact that part of a manager/supervisor's bonus is based on the turnover rate. Well, if your turnover rate sucks, so does the bonus. So, you would think, that firing people and making them unhappy would be something you would AVOID!! Perhaps i don't know the situation of the 2 who were fired, but it seems ridiculous to me.

Jenny i know you are reading this, and im sorry. its 2am and i can't sleep so i am just letting my mind tell my fingers which buttons to press to get this all out. Then, hopefully, sleep will overcome my will to type, and i will fall happily to sleep. After all, a full mind leads to dreams that are not so pleasant. And quite frankly, i like happy dreams. Or no dreams at all. *que corny line* although, "a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep*

More later. Sleepiness is starting to make me drool. And i want to be asleep before eddie gets home from "poker". i think he's partying. ugh. that's something totally off subject

night.