today is not a good day. i woke up in a good mood. i got konnor up and he was a bit fussy, but that, of course, had to do with the cold he's fighting right now. got us both ready and we left. took konnor to the babysitter's. he cried, cuz he knew i was gonna leave. so i sat on the floor and let him love on me.
Tammy said her son, Jason, saw eddie friday at the high school football game. fuck. this isn't happening. he neglected konnor and myself all weekend, and now to find THIS out. i think something is going on. actually, i am almost positive this to be a fact. i wanted to call in. i dont think i can deal with this right now. this is the second weekend in a row he hasn't spent time with his family. i have felt so alone. its normal, b/cuz we are suppose to be there for each other, be a team. there is no "i" in team. i guess there is in this one.
i texted him "FUCK YOU" and have yet to get a response. that was an hour ago. he's at work. im contemplating. his priorities are all fucked up, everything seems to agree on that. i dont know what else to do to get it through his head. i think i wanna be free. free to party or workout or talk to who i want to talk to.
my heart hurts, and konnor is the only thing in this world that makes me happy. he makes me smile, and is ALWAYS there for me. can't say so much about anything else in my life. konnor is my life. i work for him, i breathe for him, i drive 50 miles a day for him. so that he can be happy, have food & clothes, and have a happy life. i always smile when i see him, and can't really be unhappy when he is around. when i cry, he loves on me. he will walk right up to me and force me to let him hug me. he will give me smooches and pat my back until im okay. his love is so much stronger and purer than any adults. he is me and i am him.
i'll be okay. with or without eddie. only the end of day can show me where his heart lies.
**UPDATE** i brought pictures to work of halloween. i keep having to look at a pic of konnor in his ADORABLE dinosaur costume to keep myself smiling and continue the will to go on with work. i started at 8:30 a.m. and have no break until 11 a.m. its going to be hell.
Showing posts with label bad day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad day. Show all posts
Monday, November 5, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
you know what bulls**t....
THIEVES....................
I swear if i could move to a tiny town, or, better yet, my own island, i would. in a heartbeat. seriously. ohmigosh.
so this morning i wake up and get konnor out of bed and go out to the car to go to my house (we stayed at eddie's). as i walk around to my door, i notice some paper on the ground and my door not shut all the way. "no fu*king way" i think. i unlock the doors and put konnor in his carseat. then i open my door. my purse.... gone. my ashtray is ripped out and my glove box has been ransacked. F*CK!!!!!! i can't freaking believe this!! i go to eddie's window and bang on it. he sounds grumpy when he yells "what?!?!" i tell him i need his phone, and im bawling. he asks why and i say my car was broken into. then i go back to konnor.
he must have flew out of bed cuz it didnt take him more than 30 seconds to get up. by this time im in hysterics. everything is gone. it was all in my purse. which wasn't visible to anyone. my debit card, my cell phone, my checks, my digital camera with BRAND NEW 2gb memory card. UGH!! i take eddie's phone intending to call tmobile, but instead dial my mom. "i need tmobile's # and wamu's #. never mind im coming home to use your phone." i hang up.
my car is a mess. god, why me? what did i do? im too upset to think clearly. i get into my car and throw a screwdriver into the passenger seat. wait, that wasn't mine. never seen it before. they left it and i just touched it. DAMN IT!! its 5:20 and i have to leave for work in 20 minutes. what do i have time for?
i get to my house and call wamu. can't get ahold of an operator b/cuz of their STUPID ivr system. hang up. call tmobile. crying on the phone with them about what happened. ohmigosh i feel stupid. they tell me it was used at 3:14 am. i stop crying. now im livid. not only did they have the audacity to break into MY car and steal MY stuff, but they have the balls (of steal) to USE my phone. get off the phone with tmobile. im so mad and frustrated and upset i am SHAKING!!
to my computer. my mom comes in and gets ahold of a live person with wamu. im checking my tmobile online acct and see not only did these @$$ holes use my phone once, but FIVE times!! i get on the phone with wamu and tell them to cancel my card and red flag my accounts. thank goodness thats done. now i have to leave for work. i start crying again thinking about my pictures on my camera. gone. pictures on my cell phone. gone. why me? what am i going to do.
i drive to work. my mom, my how i love her, buys me coffee. :) how sweet. i look at my car again. the mess on the floor signifies what used to be in my glove box. i start bawling again. i think my social security card was in there. i needed it last week. god i hope not. was i seriously caught with my pants down in all the ways i can think of? yeah, probably. my lisence is gone. i put on my sunglasses to hide from others driving that i am crying my eyes out.
it could be worse, i suppose. they didn't get away with any of my $$ (at least not that i know of). they only made local calls. i am calling the police to file a report today and give them the #s that were called. i can only hope for sweet revenge. i know that i won't get the priceless pictures back that i took on my camera, and my phone, but thats life. i guess i have to live with it. but what a crappy day. :-(
I swear if i could move to a tiny town, or, better yet, my own island, i would. in a heartbeat. seriously. ohmigosh.
so this morning i wake up and get konnor out of bed and go out to the car to go to my house (we stayed at eddie's). as i walk around to my door, i notice some paper on the ground and my door not shut all the way. "no fu*king way" i think. i unlock the doors and put konnor in his carseat. then i open my door. my purse.... gone. my ashtray is ripped out and my glove box has been ransacked. F*CK!!!!!! i can't freaking believe this!! i go to eddie's window and bang on it. he sounds grumpy when he yells "what?!?!" i tell him i need his phone, and im bawling. he asks why and i say my car was broken into. then i go back to konnor.
he must have flew out of bed cuz it didnt take him more than 30 seconds to get up. by this time im in hysterics. everything is gone. it was all in my purse. which wasn't visible to anyone. my debit card, my cell phone, my checks, my digital camera with BRAND NEW 2gb memory card. UGH!! i take eddie's phone intending to call tmobile, but instead dial my mom. "i need tmobile's # and wamu's #. never mind im coming home to use your phone." i hang up.
my car is a mess. god, why me? what did i do? im too upset to think clearly. i get into my car and throw a screwdriver into the passenger seat. wait, that wasn't mine. never seen it before. they left it and i just touched it. DAMN IT!! its 5:20 and i have to leave for work in 20 minutes. what do i have time for?
i get to my house and call wamu. can't get ahold of an operator b/cuz of their STUPID ivr system. hang up. call tmobile. crying on the phone with them about what happened. ohmigosh i feel stupid. they tell me it was used at 3:14 am. i stop crying. now im livid. not only did they have the audacity to break into MY car and steal MY stuff, but they have the balls (of steal) to USE my phone. get off the phone with tmobile. im so mad and frustrated and upset i am SHAKING!!
to my computer. my mom comes in and gets ahold of a live person with wamu. im checking my tmobile online acct and see not only did these @$$ holes use my phone once, but FIVE times!! i get on the phone with wamu and tell them to cancel my card and red flag my accounts. thank goodness thats done. now i have to leave for work. i start crying again thinking about my pictures on my camera. gone. pictures on my cell phone. gone. why me? what am i going to do.
i drive to work. my mom, my how i love her, buys me coffee. :) how sweet. i look at my car again. the mess on the floor signifies what used to be in my glove box. i start bawling again. i think my social security card was in there. i needed it last week. god i hope not. was i seriously caught with my pants down in all the ways i can think of? yeah, probably. my lisence is gone. i put on my sunglasses to hide from others driving that i am crying my eyes out.
it could be worse, i suppose. they didn't get away with any of my $$ (at least not that i know of). they only made local calls. i am calling the police to file a report today and give them the #s that were called. i can only hope for sweet revenge. i know that i won't get the priceless pictures back that i took on my camera, and my phone, but thats life. i guess i have to live with it. but what a crappy day. :-(
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