HAPPY MONDAY!!
If YoU cAn
SeNsE tHe SaRcAsM
iN tHaT
pReViOuS sTaTeMeNt,
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Anyways, i hope
everyone who reads my blog
(which is no one to my knowledge)
had a great weekend. i got some well-needed
relaxation time, which proved to be bad now that
its Monday and not only am i *EXTREMELY* tired,
but every1 around me is getting sick. I have a fat migraine,
and problems that no one wants to hear about. ha.
but ya. interestingly enough, i was myspacing it
up, which is something i tend to do when i get
bored, tryin 2 find a cousin of mine i haven't
seen in a few years. she definately has it
hard to find her, but thanks to google
and my mad detective skills, i
managed to find her.
**.oh. my. god.**
Times really do
change people, despite
what we think. you think that
while you dont talk to someone, they
just stay the same. and then you do see
them, and you are totally caught off guard. right,
so my cousin is half white and half tongan. and you know
she was cute, tiny, petite, and tall when i remember
her. now, looking through her myspace, i see that
she has grown into a full-grown woman. i half
expected that when i saw her, i would
find her as i remember her. HA!
what a laugh. i havent talked
2 her much or really gotten
completely into contact
with her, but it blows
my mind how time
has changed her.
:) we used to be
inseperable
when we
were
both little.
played in sandboxes
and on our tricycles.
never really talked about boys at all.
im sure time has
changed me too in her
eyes as well. i have a son
now and am engaged and soon
to be married. i wonder what she
thinks of the life i have chosen for myself.
its just truly amazing and perplexing how one
moment can change the way you think of the world.
and now i find myself wondering if the other people in my
life that i have lost contact with have changed as drastically
as my cousin. which makes me want to find them. talk to them.
i have,
inadvertinly,
done this with someone
who used to be my bestest friend
in the whole wide world. her and i never
left each other's sides. we always spent time at
one another's houses, and you would find us at one of
the two every weekend. when we last spoke, it was prior to
her son being born. she got into some bad things, and i decided i
wanted nothing to do with her. yeah in a sense this was a good
choice, but i have to say that i miss her terribly sometimes. i
kno that we would need tons of time 2 heal things between
us. but our boys are pretty close in age (only 13 months)
and im sure could be pretty good friends someday.
i dont know though. im on edge about it all. its
kinda like disowning ur sister or something.
yeah you can do it, but not 4ever. and
since we spent so much time together,
i really feel like she is my sister, and
you know w/family, there is always
the unconditional love that you
have for them. so it kinda
puts me in a tough spot.
do i trust that she has
done better for her
& her son? i
haven't
been
totally
out of contact
w/ her family. her
brother and my brother
are best friends, exactly like
we were when we were little.
so i know kind of what has been
going on in her life, and im sure she knows
a bit about whats going on in mine as well. so i
know that things are better in the sense that she isnt
doing the same things that she was when i stopped talking
to her. does that mean i should try to make things better? or
should i just give up my losses and call it quits with her friendship?
and that brings me to the question of why i am even thinking about any
of this. i said i wouldn't. that i was going to be done with it all. with her. but
i'm
.
.
.
not
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